An Exercise for Writers Block and Boredom

1.
To experiment
With a form which is unknown
This is the whole point

2.
Poet's exercise:
Playing with the syllables
Letters meet numbers

3.
Static from speakers
Listening to the divine
Sending messages

4.
My wallet is empty
Sugar daddy come find me
My pride can be masked

5.
Too lazy to read
Although it would behoove me
The pages: heavy lids

6.
She stares with eyes green
Furry, filled with attitude
Feline Royalty

7.
A painted body
An outline leading to truth
Read her limbs and breathe

8.
Sentimental fool
You should know better by now
The heart wants it all

9.
Stars meant for wishing
They're wasted on folly
Luck is lost on me

10.
All is said and done
Ten Haiku's to exercise
My pen and my palette

For a Friend ... and to My Lovers

I want someone or something to rest beside me without regret or hesitation
a second thought to be stricken from any record
a hollowed ground to land upon and rest within
                                                  The only illusion is illusion itself
Where my backbone is the cornerstone to all that makes this shit spin
and while I'm spinning
I trust
destined to fall upon soft ground

We misplace truths
only to rely on fiction
for some false sense of comfort
Bending ourselves
our bodies
our beliefs

This canvas is imperfect and beautiful in spite of that reality
With a past so thick with indecision
it's hard to move forward
                                                  To believe in hearts beating for you
                                                  toward you
                                                  near you
                                                  due to the breath you've wasted
                                                  and laid upon others
Partially reluctant
I lose myself in the myriad
Actively reminded
yet denying the reminder
All in one silent attempt to find reason within denial

I have travelled
by ship and sea and star
Blinded by the light life often emanates
With every failure that light bleeds brighter
Strapping the weight of worlds created to my insides
I march on
never dimming
Dispatched to dictate madness through lyrics declared as Scripture
knowing my luck in Love is nothing shy of brilliant strategy

With all the twists and turns
how do you disregard the heart
      -the rhythm that keeps your soul in step with the universe
Many have tried
but failed
Learn to accept
      -the truest triumph is the failure itself
For if we never leapt
we would simply be standing still
                                                  Gravity: what comes up
                                                  will come down
However
the risk of letting go of ones heart
transcends science

Side Stepping

I am amped & annihilated
beaming from the outside in
Backwards and browbeaten
Whips & chains
castrating pieces of me

No ones Penelope
Precious to none
I am nothing
yet everything
Misplaced

I actively seek reason
within a web
where answers cannot be found
I m naked & uncovered
cowering
Where do we go from here?
even up is not an option
I back peddle
screaming words of Love & redemption
requesting validation
when even validity has lost its allure
I am speechless & denied
I am loud & undermined

We cast ourselves
far wide & wise
Reaching for stars
that are already ours

Spinning circles
We are no more
but
we are no less
The lesser of the two:
me versus you
How do we move forward?
when only one wants to move on

The Clown Show

In the midst of captivity
         dissolved in resolution
               you left long before I leapt
With footsteps depicted so profoundly
         existed stories of limitless abyss
               amongst shattered glass and picture frames
                                      Simply characters on a canvas

              (I find myself on repeat)
             Forever broken and bleeding

I asked you to go
                         or
I asked you to stay
My instructions ill-fated
                          muddled
You abandoned me
          Betrayed yourself
          Punishing us both

                                         Still
I grasp at some trembling hand
         Some heaving breast
               torn by indecision
     I wrestled with a beast you cannot afford to recognize
                       Nor would you possess the strength


                                  All the while
You sit still
         unshaken
               numb and uncompromised
You feign resistance
         convincing us both of too many tall tales told

The lesson in those lies:
         The ‘lost’ slowly equating to - just another coward
         Cowering behind a disguise
A friend
         I know now
My foe

I placed myself before you
                      or rather
You always came before me
          no matter how pristine my presentation
          you doubted my worth
          my meaning
We clung to an illusion
                            or
                            perhaps it was only I

It takes a fool to rush in
           yet a clown to stay the course
My face still ignorantly painted
                                                 the crowd is no longer laughing

Scribbles

I live alone
inside myself
Dedicating the better parts of me
to the lost and better off forgotten
I am strong
for all of the wrong reasons
Feeling responsible
for everything
Yet acknowledged by nothing
Some ill fated attempt at character suicide
I took a step back
Hoping your wrists and limbs could carry me
My weight
a burden no one is willing to admit
too heavy
We disengage
Barricading that which feeds me
leaving me parched
and incandescent
I cannot sleep to dream
for the sake of reality

Pieces of the Past

She realigns her limbs
Displaying affection for all the world
As if sin was in style
and penetration was for sale
She allows the spotlight to accentuate the mis-steps
Pirouetting her way into the forgotten

Love is an addiction
she can no longer afford
For the price cannot be distinguished by numbers
and letters have been known to betray her
She earmarks the memories
as they slip away

Demonstrating madness
she slams into familiar territory
and finesses the mess before her
Serenading the remains
of this truncated misfortune

Wipe away the unwanted
and get on with it already
Life is for the living
the Lost get left behind

Limitless Abyss


She knows no limit

Driven
Stewed deep within omen and obstacle
                   she can manipulate
however finds truth in its antithesis
For life is not meant to be orchestrated
                   The crescendos we reach on our own in unmeasured time

While her body and mind distract
                   her heart: redirects the lost and keeps the wondrous ones at bay
She treads lightly now on the bridges she’s rebuilding
her manifest destiny broken beneath her bare feet

She carries on
                   What else would you have her do

In untimely progression
she bares witness to the wake she leaves behind
An unending sea
raging with passion and envy
crashing against possibility and scenarios of what might have been
With this perspective:
                   on the calm side of the chaos
all that exists is what is
                   What might have been surely seems diluted

True to form
she still walks the thinnest line
                   Testing waters
contemplating wading
for a ship that leaves her sunk

She stands up
                   Allowing her tears to fall
Heartbroken
but better in the end
Significant to a fault

What can be broken and truly repaired?
                   We transcend machinery
                   Yet the shell, so delicate
even a mended heart is battered
barring scars to tell it’s tale
She leaves doors unlatched and words unspoken
                   Rhyme and reason were never a good match anyway
                   Making do with one
she releases reason

There is safety in numbers and comfort in between
Magnificent in her own unraveling
she knows what she is
but wonders if anyone else can see