“Expression”

Why can I not get through to you
I speak
And you blink
Does anything sink in?
I scream because you don’t let me in
I repeat
Because you won’t hear me
HEAR ME
I love you
And I’m weary
My mind draws a blank
I am so sick
Of being sick
And alone
With a boyfriend who is MIA
You wanna talk
Let’s talk
And when I shake and shiver
And tremble beneath a beaten blouse
Recognize that
Recognize me
Screaming out
STOP
The world was not built
To tilt and whirl when you say so
And I say
So
Listen to me
You wanna be my caretaker
How do I live with a caretaker
Who has no trust?
Huh?
How does that seen doable
Regain it you say
I have done so little to deserve my punishment
To have my body and pride taken from me
For you to distrust me
For you not to see the one you fell for
And only open your eyes to the weak
The meager minded invalid
I have become
So you leave me
No choice
You walk away saying I am the one who needs to reevaluate
And I am left here
With my words
Unable to express myself
Like me
You shut down with every syllable
My guess is you still shut me down
Reading this
With little regards to my current state
Not remembering my shaky hand
And my wounded head
My heart tampered with
My spirit broken
You choose not to love
The many me’s that are bound to surface
Instead you tell me
To deal with you
When I am me again
Which me is the one you approve of again?
This is how I communicate
Take me
Or have you already left?
…
I am not running away
I am here
Can you see me?
Which one am I now
The one you love
Or the one you have chosen to leave?

"A Somber Solo Soul"

Again
I am awake
Dreaming
Of you
I let doubt
Escape me
For a moment
I just believe
I feel your breath
And I'm saved
I run my fingers through your hair
And I'm sane
I taste your lips
And I am alive
I hear your whispers
And it fills me
From head to toe
Full heart
Full soul
I crave you
Your emptiness
I wish to fill
Your loneliness
I wish to remedy
Your questions
I wish to answer
I want you to crave me too
Not just my body
Heart and soul
All I long to give
Is all I have
All I want
Is all of you
Wanting me
Wanting you

"Charred"

Burnt from the inside
Embers festering within
A mere reflection
Of the way
I once
Burned
Now
Only an image
Of what once
Burned
Burnt
Betrayed
Myself
A flame that
Lives
To dance around me
To touch me
Danger
Unsuccessful
Your flame
No longer
Ignites me
An empty flame
Too hot to touch
Too cool to play with
Burnt out
And burned within
And the ashes
Are all that remain

"Nourishment"

I'm compelled
To tell tales
Too tall
For me to tell
To wrap my words
Around you
And begin
From the beginning
To get lost in my fantasy
To displace
The unpleased
And escape
Inside your mind
To find
Me
Seeking
Approval
And deny
You
Can not see
But I know
What you do not
My insides
My heart
My soul
Your everlasting
Home
That which is not removable
I dance
Circles
About you
And your pent up
Disbelief
I am your reality
And you hate that
Which is me
You rely on proof
Without recognizing
The real
Here I am
Before you
Above you
Below you
Around you
Within you
You speak me
See me
Believe
In me
And I will go
Noticed
And one day
You
Will
Feed on me
And I will
Nourish
You
And your reality