“Wasted Words”

A million
Wasted words
Spill from my lips
They fall softly
Upon deaf ears
I would scream
But I’ve gone hoarse
I try to face you
And suddenly
You see through me
The face which once
Deemed
“Mornin’ Beautiful”
Has faded
From your still frame mind
And yet here I am
Wasting words
My fingers cramped
My eyes tired
My heart helpless
As it should be
For this poet knows
The love I fight for
Cannot be denied
And so it seems
I’ll write myself through this too
The wasted words
Will serve as nourishment
To a lost love
I wish to restore
A lost love
I go on
Believing in
Albeit foolish
I am!
My soul will feed
On these wasted words
And I will be strengthened
And remain
Alive
Awaiting
Wanting
And fighting
For that
Which has been
And remains
Mine

“This Life Is But A Dream”

I want
Your words
The right
The truth
To feel
To crumble
Without abandon
To brush your shadow
To release me
To be blinded
By your incredible
To believe
In the “right”
To sink deep into your soul
To capture your stare
To let you tear into me
And find you beneath my inconsistence
I inhale
Shallow
I exhale
No relief
I smell your skin
I taste your kisses
And they are an image
That melts me
And makes me feel
Whole
For a moment
You were mine
And I wish to believe
In an end
That shall never find me
Because I deny it
And keep dreaming
With my eye’s wide open

“To Walk Alone”

In a sideways world
It’s hard to recognize
Which way is up
From back
And behind
It’s hard to decide
Which direction
Most resembles
The real
So I blindfold
My senses
And naively walk
Amongst the wrecked
I reach
Yet I trip
And I stumble
I fall back
I lose faith
In the practiced
And find resolve
Within
I wish to close myself
Off
The beaten path
Is the only road
I know
And I crave
To create
A road
Of my own
Where my footprint
Sinks deep into
The virgin soil
Of my soul
I may be tainted
And misunderstood
But I’ll keep
Searching
For the unforeseen
And though I know
Success
I want more
I want richness
And forgiveness
And the ability
To believe
But I don’t
And my blindness
Destructs
Me
And I melt
Madly
Wanting
And shunning
Those who do
Believe
In me
And my boldness

"Liar"

What a mistake we’ve made
My lucid heart
Wants to deny you
But I can’t
And I don’t want to
You illuminate
My insides
You make me want to cry out
To scream
To fight
To break down before you
Throw myself at the unknown
To reply
To your silence
With hatred and resolve
But I can’t
I want to kick and scream
And pound myself
Into you
To nest inside your cloudiness
To awake beside you
Blinded
But beside you
To wrap you in my dreams
To fantasize into reality
To show you what I see
With my misconstrued ideal
My romanticized
Lack of reality
To face the facts that seem
Reluctant to reveal themselves
The logic pours in
And the end consists of this
A million words
And endless questions
A façade of bullshit
A restless girl
Alone
Lied to
If by no one else
But herself