Current Events

If only I possessed the magic
To divide myself
Into 900 bits and pieces
I’d reassemble myself
Into something even more magnificent
A version of me
That embraced all this madness
Enveloped but reveling
Vanquishing doubt and distraction
The muddled memories
Of my broken past
Haunt me
But these ghosts I dream of
Possess breath and bone
And no amount of magic
Will release me
From a grip so tight
I struggle with breathing
Paralyzed
From the neck down
I see “you”
I hear you
But my fingers
Lack the sensation
Of your skin against my skin
Your whispers against my flesh
Those fantastic
Cathartic
Superfluous
Moments
Physical therapy
Practiced
Without license
Instead
The neon sign
Adorning my soul
Flashes: “Vacancy”
Flickering
Sputtering
I need to slip and fall
I seek a sick and twisted
Coma
Where dreams and reality blend
When Babylon is home
And the language which lingers on my lips
Is only known by two
What’s it like?
Knowing
I’m only fluent
In you

Paper Trail

I have a paper trail
A decade long
And 365 miles high
It catapults me
Into my past
Shining light onto
The many lives I’ve lived
Words and rants
Responses and details
A million words
Mixed amongst
A million memories
Not simply keepsakes
Trinkets
Tokens
But reminders
The many me’s
Collectively
Stapled together
At rest
Hidden in boxes and folders
When opened
I remember
All the things
I’ve told myself
To forget
Some I laugh at
Amused by
What time has since healed
Others still sting
As if time stands still
…
I know though
My paper trail
Lives on
Even in this
Simply a single piece
To add
Granting me
My required
Bittersweet release