The Clown Show

In the midst of captivity
         dissolved in resolution
               you left long before I leapt
With footsteps depicted so profoundly
         existed stories of limitless abyss
               amongst shattered glass and picture frames
                                      Simply characters on a canvas

              (I find myself on repeat)
             Forever broken and bleeding

I asked you to go
                         or
I asked you to stay
My instructions ill-fated
                          muddled
You abandoned me
          Betrayed yourself
          Punishing us both

                                         Still
I grasp at some trembling hand
         Some heaving breast
               torn by indecision
     I wrestled with a beast you cannot afford to recognize
                       Nor would you possess the strength


                                  All the while
You sit still
         unshaken
               numb and uncompromised
You feign resistance
         convincing us both of too many tall tales told

The lesson in those lies:
         The ‘lost’ slowly equating to - just another coward
         Cowering behind a disguise
A friend
         I know now
My foe

I placed myself before you
                      or rather
You always came before me
          no matter how pristine my presentation
          you doubted my worth
          my meaning
We clung to an illusion
                            or
                            perhaps it was only I

It takes a fool to rush in
           yet a clown to stay the course
My face still ignorantly painted
                                                 the crowd is no longer laughing