Scribbles

When I retrace my steps
And allow my past
To encapsulate me
My mind replays
Scenes from a world
I know
Longer allow
My heart
To believe in
A distilled
Distorted
Misconception
A time and place
I lived in
And existed within
But now…
Memories
My heart
Will no longer deny
Certain truths
Truths I fought
Against
Unreliable dishonesty
I wanted all
And wound up
Constricted
Conflicted
Played the fool
And questioned
Myself
I will not dwindle now
A world I created
Once reveled in
And now
Destroyed
With time
And circumstance
Will wonders ever cease
And yet
I go on
Breathing
And dreaming
Be it of you
Or the life
I would have
Should have
Could have
Had
I am stronger
Now
Without
Than I ever was
With
You
Cannot exist
Knowing me
And I know now
What once was cherished
Is now wasted
But for me
Knowledge
Is necessity
And my misplacement
In your heart
Strengthens me
Yet
Will forever
And always
Sadden
Our memory