For a Friend ... and to My Lovers

I want someone or something to rest beside me without regret or hesitation
a second thought to be stricken from any record
a hollowed ground to land upon and rest within
                                                  The only illusion is illusion itself
Where my backbone is the cornerstone to all that makes this shit spin
and while I'm spinning
I trust
destined to fall upon soft ground

We misplace truths
only to rely on fiction
for some false sense of comfort
Bending ourselves
our bodies
our beliefs

This canvas is imperfect and beautiful in spite of that reality
With a past so thick with indecision
it's hard to move forward
                                                  To believe in hearts beating for you
                                                  toward you
                                                  near you
                                                  due to the breath you've wasted
                                                  and laid upon others
Partially reluctant
I lose myself in the myriad
Actively reminded
yet denying the reminder
All in one silent attempt to find reason within denial

I have travelled
by ship and sea and star
Blinded by the light life often emanates
With every failure that light bleeds brighter
Strapping the weight of worlds created to my insides
I march on
never dimming
Dispatched to dictate madness through lyrics declared as Scripture
knowing my luck in Love is nothing shy of brilliant strategy

With all the twists and turns
how do you disregard the heart
      -the rhythm that keeps your soul in step with the universe
Many have tried
but failed
Learn to accept
      -the truest triumph is the failure itself
For if we never leapt
we would simply be standing still
                                                  Gravity: what comes up
                                                  will come down
However
the risk of letting go of ones heart
transcends science