Heavy

I built a world out of lead
-on shaky ground
yet still question my heavy heartedness
I wish for same-page something
& find short hand non-sequiturs that don’t add up
When I am finally standing still
-breathing you
(surrounded by chaos)
you are running circles around (on) me
Or perhaps it is my orbit
that leaves you weightless
and the gravity you once wished for
is that which you now deny

I scribble
maddened
(once again relatively muted)
I let the days play out
never knowing fluidity
What once was comfort
is now un-trusted
-untrusting

My peace is present
all the while the biggest piece of me is growing cold
like stone
in a jacket pocket
weighing the foundation
like lead
Heavy
-hearted
Slowly breaking (after I finally found my way back) down